Category Archives: Climate change

Two minutes of (environmentally conscious) hate

I just realized that Friday was Earth Day (and, coincidentally, Vladimir Lenin’s birthday). So, with that in mind, share this with the next enviro-commie you run across:

Combined, fossil fuels and capitalism have done more to improve the human condition than any other force in history. (That “pop” you just heard was the sound of some liberal’s mind being blown.) It’s true…

While UCLA liberal hipsters who are $226,000 in debt because of their pursuit in the fledging industry of speech pathology, sip their 100 percent organic low-impact caramel lattes while discussing the plight of the endangered desert snail, “BIG OIL” is — ya know — creating jobs.

Oh yeah, and big oil is also producing wealth.

And eliminating poverty.

And driving innovation.

And those evil shark-like motherfuckers who work for these “greedy corporatist pigs” are also providing Silicon Valley with the petroleum products necessary to build the smartphone that our indebted college enviro-hipsters are using to text their gender-neutral Bernie-Sanders-loving “significant other”.

The funny thing is, while these budding Stalinists cry about the need for big-government to save the environment (despite the fact that all reasonable metrics conclude human activity has a cosmically microscopic impact on natural weather fluctuations and overall environmental conditions) private capital and private businesses are producing a level of wealth, spread over a percentage of the population, never before matched in human history.

The ancient world is a bleak blur of human suffering, disease, serfdom, slavery and poverty. And we’re not talking about the neo-socialist propagandist meaning of “poverty” (ya know, the unemployed single mother who receives an electronically deposited welfare check while her child plays the latest PS4 game in some taxpayer-sponsored air conditioned public housing). History, much like the non-capitalist modern world, was full of real poverty. We’re talking Sara-McLachlan-infomercial style poverty.

It wasn’t until the 19th and 20th centuries — a time when private capital and the concept of individual income mobility actually began to dominate the western world — was there significant leaps in the betterment of the human condition.

And this revolution in societal prosperity was fueled by… organic compounds that are easily and cheaply refined into highly combustible agents. (COUGH*petroleum*COUGH)

Think about that… An energy source that we locate underground, drill thousands of feet to reach, extract after eons of chemical change, refine into hundreds of different fuel grades, transport to any corner of the world, store safely for years at a time, and deliver to customers for a few bucks per gallon. That’s cheaper than many brands of milk!

And yet the left’s compulsive obsession over “fixing global warming” consists of pricing such affordable energy off the market, and applying a watered down Bolshevik redistribution scheme on the most prosperous corners of mankind.

Hell, the chief of the UN council on climate change even said as much.

Right, comrade… Because communists have such a stunning track record of environmental stewardship, right? From Chernobyl to the dried Aral Sea of Kazakhstan, the old Soviet empire is literally overrun with examples of the “greater good” treating the world like a communal garbage can.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I like the earth. I’m not suggesting that we start clubbing baby seals or anything. (I would generally only advocate inflicting that kind of violence on communists*.) But “Earth Day” is really nothing more than a day when non-contributing-zeros can dim their lights, and self-righteously applaud themselves for tweeting a picture of a polar bear clinging to an iceberg.

Which, by the way, here’s a fun fact: Polar bears can swim up to 200 miles, and icebergs only travel around one-half mile per hour. If that bear is actually stranded more than 200 miles from land on a 0.5 mile per hour iceberg (a 17 day trip), that’s not “global warming” — that’s Darwinism.

So, in recognition of Earth Day, let me offer this advice for ensuring a prosperous and healthy future planet:

Save the world… club a communist. *

— By Anonymous Pundit

*This is not an actual call for violence — because, god knows, those commies are such a pleasant and tranquil bunch of tyrannically violent oppressors and genocidal madmen. Clubbing communists, as it turns out, is likely just as illegal as clubbing baby seals. (And it could, debatably, be just as morally wrong under certain atypical circumstances.)