Two minutes of (actual) hate

Today’s topic for “two minutes” is…

Taxes.

I know. Two minutes doesn’t seem nearly long enough. But, since I have an actual job (which supports this parasitic leech known as “government”), that’s all I can afford to spend on this topic today.

I did my accounts last weekend. It was a blurry several hours of flipping through various tax forms, inventing discovering deductions, and generally despising the amount of hard earned money the IRS has decided I don’t get to keep anymore.

Which kind of focuses my unadulterated hatred for the IRS. (Oh… Hello NSA! Don’t feel left out, I’ll rant about you at a later date.)

Do you realize what an income tax really is? You’re paying the government for the privilege of being employed. Or, put another way, the government decides how much of your own money you are allowed to keep.

Hooray for freedom, right?

Of course, this is a big part of the reason that conservatives have a penchant for lowering taxes, and simplifying the tax code…

Which kinda makes you wonder why that braggadocious vulgarian, Donald Trump, claims to be a conservative.

By his own liberal admission, he wants to “tax the hell” out of those “rich hedge fund guys.” He wants to slap tariffs (basically taxes) on companies that make things overseas.

Hell, he threw a hissy fit earlier this week because Ford Motor Company (ya know: the one automaker that really, really, really didn’t want to take any bailout money) is building a new manufacturing plant in Mexico. (Apparently Mexico is only useful for making suits and ties for hypocritical politico-wannabes named “Trump.”)

By the way — not to get off on a tangent — isn’t that the stupidest fucking idea on the face of the planet? Here’s how dumb it really is: Even Obama (the moron who said Obamacare would boost the economy, lower healthcare costs and insure the uninsurable) pointed out that new tariffs generally raise the price of consumer goods.(Now I feel like I need to take a shower. Ugh.)

You like your big screen television? Well… Prepare to pay more for your next one if President Trumper has his way. Because, clearly, making Americans pay more for TVs, cell phones and Ford F-150s is exactly the formula for “making America great again,” right?

I digress…

Aside from the authoritarianism of our current income tax structure, I was struck by how much it cost to seek professional help filing my taxes. (I actually need professional help for a lot of things… but this month, taxes were at the top of the list. I don’t think my alcoholism or pent-up rage are going to land me in prison quite yet.)

And that’s when it dawned on me that we, as a nation, have been forced to create a billion dollar industry focused on facilitating the IRS in confiscating private wealth so the redistributive Rube-Goldberg machinery of big-government can continue operating.

The entire tax accounting industry, really, shouldn’t even exist.

Don’t get me wrong… There are some fine accountants, who are also terribly pleasant human beings.  I’m not suggesting that we drown them all in a river as if we were Joseph Stalin with a sack full of kittens. (Whoa… that got real dark, real fast.)

I’m just saying that the mountain of resources put into tax compliance would be better appropriated in the real-world economy if it was used to actually produce something positive for society.

Like Ford F-150s made in Mexico, for example.

Instead, we have built an entire industry to assist government coffers in institutionalizing government-sponsored theft.

Sadly this level of DC-inspired extortion and destruction is tolerated far too well by a generation of Americans so obsessed with posting another goddamn cat video on Facebook, they really can’t afford themselves the energy to work up a libertarian-inspired “Rage Against the Machine” level of hate. (Yes… I used the name of a notoriously pro-communist band. It’s called “irony”.)

I mean, imagine how our founding fathers would have reacted to today’s 75,000 pages of tax code. (And keep in mind that those guys decided to use British soldiers as target practice when the Crown tried to levy a new tax on Earl Grey tea.)

Maybe next year we should list our congressmen and senators as dependents on our 1040 forms… And while we’re at it, let’s build a wall to keep out all those Trump suits and ties.

— Anonymous Pundit

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